"The Calm Before the Storm"

Two days after her 3rd birthday Presley had her 3 year physical. I didn't realize until this day how much easier it is to get through physicals when they are younger. When they are young they don't really know what the heck is going on. Whenever we walk into the doctors office, she has her usual routine. She comes in, says hello to any kid that may be in there and goes straight to Nurse-we will call her stickers; so "nurse stickers" is her name. Presley loves "nurse stickers" because hence the name "stickers" she has drawer full of different stickers. "Nurse Stickers" loves Presley (who doesn't right??) and always lets her play at her desk and draw pictures until it's her turn to be seen. Well on this day "nurse stickers" refused to be the one giving Presley the shot(s)!!!! So she gave the dirty job to the new nurse. She didn't want to damage her relationship with Presley. Rightfully so.

Doctor does his routine...they take her weight, height, and had her do an eye exam??hmmm I thought to myself she may be a little young for it because she may know the ABC song but I'm pretty sure she can't identify a letter. I told the "new nurse" and she changed the letters to pictures....your first initial reaction would be "okay she can identify pictures, this will work" until they show you the pictures...I could barely identify the house that looked like a barn or the train that looked like a semi-truck. At that point Presley just started pulling words out of her ass...New nurse would say "Presley what's this picture of?" (As she pointed to a house) and Presley replied with "oh, that's a box"..hmmm...okay nurse tries again "Presley what's this picture of?" (As she points to what looks like a cow)..Presley-"Oh, that's a horse". I honestly thought it was a horse too, but the nurse said no that's a cow. So we obviously failed that test!-okay great at least that's over with now, what's next???

We go into our private room and the new nurse puts head phones on Presley and gives her a hearing test...she says to Presley "Now Presley, when you hear a beeeeeeeep you need to say banana." Presley looked at me like oh great it's time for a snack! so she says "yes please, I want a banana" to the nurse. Nurse says "No, no..when u hear the beeeeeeeep say banana"....I'm sitting there thinking are you serious lady??? she just turned 3 two days ago at least give her half a year to really get settled into being 3! this went on for a few minutes until the new nurse finally got it through her head that it wasn't going to happen. So 2ND test of the day-failed again! Great we are off to a wonderful start.....

Doctor comes in...Presley loves her doctor..they always have these weird little inside jokes...I feel a little left out at times...almost to the point where they could very much possibly have their own secret handshake type of thing. Anyway, I'm glad she likes him because it makes doctor visit that much easier. He checks her out and yay the main important test her health and she passed with flying colors (knock on wood). That excitement didn't last very long because then Presley out of no where looked at me and said "mommy are we done? no pokes (aka shots) today, k" ummmmm I stayed silent and we stared at each other for a minute...I thought do I lie? and risk her never trusting me again? or do I tell her the truth and she will know I won't lie to her?...crap....then word vomit happened.. "Yes Presley you have to have three pokes today"....okay seriously just the yes would of been enough, but leave it to me to add the number 3!!! what the hell is wrong with me?! She went hysterical...I tried to smooth it over by telling her that before she was allowed to go to her new school she had to get these "pokes"...she didn't care....then I told her "Presley you can sit on my lap why the nurse does it so it's not so scary" and surprisingly she said "okay, I sit on mommy's lap for pokes." I thought okay maybe this won't be do bad...so New nurse comes in and says "okay we need to give her these three so please lay her on the table and hold her arms down"....When she said that I thought WELL SHIT BALLS are you kidding me?!..so I asked if we could do it with her sitting on my lap..and she said "no".....SHIT BALLS AGAIN! I look at Presley and try to explain why she can't sit on my lap for the pokes....I should of just told her what an asshole I was for assuming and giving false hope to her...She was not happy. I had to hold her down and I think that was more worse than the shots...Presley doesn't like being pushed down like that and it freaked her out..I wanted to cry but since my face was directly in hers I couldn't...She wouldn't understand why I would be crying..she would actually probably being asking herself "why the hell are you crying?You're not the one getting the "pokes" you big cry baby!".....so I didn't cry i just kissed her so much...which was probably even more annoying...kind of like when you stub your toe on a corner of something..the last thing you want is anyone to talk let alone look at you....anyway the "pokes" were done and Presley is a champ at milking her "ouchies" all day. I gave in and let her get her way that day.. that's the least I could do since I gave her false hope, and restrained her.